Help a relative verify troubling mail without taking over

Before you look at the letter, ask your relative whether they want help. Then check the sender and any payment request together, using contact details you both find independently rather than the ones printed on the letter. The letter is theirs, and so is the decision.

By Junk Mail Magic. Updated October 2, 2026.

Working through the letter together

Open with a question, such as: would you like me to look at this with you?
Read it together and write down the sender name, what it asks for and any deadline. Avoid calling it a scam at first glance, since an unfamiliar letter can still be genuine.
For a letter that appears to come from the IRS, check it through official IRS resources. Private collection letters can be legitimate, and they follow earlier IRS correspondence, so check for that earlier letter too.
If the letter asks for payment, compare it with their own records or call a provider they already use, using a number from those records.
Agree on who makes each call. Your relative decides whether to pay, reply or report.

Helping without taking control

Don't take the letter away, pay it or call on their behalf without their agreement. Sit with them, or make the call with them on the line.

If the letter may be official, don't advise them to ignore a deadline. Confirm the letter with the named agency first.

If they have already paid or shared account details, help them call the payment provider and decide whether to report to USPIS. Keep the original letter and envelope. Questions about their taxes, legal matters or accounts belong with the verified agency or provider.

Conversation script and shared notes

Example for your own use. Replace the bracketed details and review what you share.

Script: [Relative's name], would you like me to look at this letter with you? We can check who sent it and what it asks for, and you decide what to do. Sender as printed: [sender name] What it asks for: [request or payment amount] Deadline stated: [date or none] Earlier letter from the same sender found: [yes/no] Verified contact we found ourselves: [number or website, where found] Next step chosen, and who does it: [step, person]

Leave a note they can use

Before you go, write down the verified number or website you found together and the next step they chose. With that note, they can follow up on their own.

Official sources

Handle different opinions about a relative’s catalogs Verify a number printed on unfamiliar mail Preserve a mailer after you paid a suspected scam Choose between mail-fraud and delivery support routes Suspicious mail All practical mail guides

Keep personal records with the organization that handles them

Junk Mail Magic is for ordinary unwanted advertising. Use the official contact route in this guide for records, account changes or someone else’s correspondence.

Compare removal routes